When you are in it, here are 3 quick simple ways to ease your way out.
You know the "it". The one that whispers you are nothing. The one that heavies your heart & darkens your sun. The one that takes you somewhere else entirely. And so, 3 ways to bring you back.
This ain’t your typical “light some Palo Santo and list out ten things you’re grateful for” kinda suggestion.
Although I will say I had a therapist once suggest to carry around something to appeal to my sense of smell (essential oil, Palo Santo, etc.) when I was feeling uncomfortably out of body as the redirect absolutely can ground you quickly.
But this isn’t that, necessarily.
You see, even the best advise can just become white noise when heard too many times.
And so, let’s try something new that (ideally) you haven’t heard a time or ten.
Or, if you have been given this suggestion before, let’s put a spin on it that will actually incentivize you to make the attempt.
Get out.
Out of your head and out of your home.
This, honest to God himself, works for me 100% of the time.
Does it fix everything forever and ever, amen?
No, but it certainly pulls the curtains back on the darkness that has consumed my beautiful mind.
This is what you do.
You leave where you are… your home, your office, wherever.
Once gone, either be outside and continue moving or get into your car and drive.
Why does this help, especially if a coffee or sweet treat is involved?
It’s what’s called a jolt.
Also known as any sudden change in your environment, activity or one of your five senses that provides a quick hit of stimulation.
“The ‘jolt’ of stimulation can provide a temporary distraction from these negative patterns and a boost in dopamine or norepinephrine, potentially making it easier to shift focus and regain a sense of control.” - GOOGLE AI
I have truthfully gone from daydreaming about stepping in front of a bus to then admiring just how lovely the flowers are, all in the matter of an hour BECAUSE of the jolt I had from transitioning out of my home (frozen where I sat) to moving outside and in the sunshine, talking through what was tangled up inside of my pretty head.
A jolt could also be turning up a playlist and blasting it via bluetooth on your record player, making an afternoon iced coffee and wandering the neighborhood barefoot, asking a loved one for a foot massage, willing yourself to shower, or honestly even something as innocent as popping a piece of gum.
Shift the focus, and regain control.
Another idea?
Continue with the idea of leaving, but bring paper.
Once you’re out (in the park, at a coffee shop, in your car, at a friend’s, in the backyard, wherever you feel safe) get out the paper and you’re going to do what’s called a brain dump. (explanation coming)
When you have ADHD, your thoughts are like a Spotify playlist set to shuffle.
Sometimes said thoughts are whimsical, witty, and extraordinarily useful… poetic even.
Other times, they’re harsh, intrusive, unhelpfully random, and at worst, world-shattering for both ourselves and those we love most.
And it’s when the good tangles with the bad so chaotically that you’re forced to shut yourself down to simply survive.
Cue the brain dump.
Don’t trip over your pen and overthink this.
We are not journaling.
We are taking every thought/idea, the good the bad the enlightened the ridiculous, and we are writing them down.
How you do this is up to you.
Make a list, a diagram, draw photos, have categories, write in complete sentences, don’t write in complete sentences, just start and see what happens.
When these thoughts are left, unattended to tangle, they feel awful AND YET when we get them from mind to paper, we begin to make sense of what the fuck is going on up there (kind of).
And then there were three.
This last Hail Mary is simple, effective, fun, and can be executed immediately.
You are going to look ahead.
Grab your planner, your wall calendar, and any other means you use to keep track of your life.
If you have none of these things, I think I see your problem. Well, at least one of them.
For those that feel more alive with color, go ahead and grab means for that as well (crayons, colored pencils, gel pens, possibly watercolor).
We are going to plan some excitement.
“Key aspects of the reward system are underactive in ADHD brains, making it difficult to derive reward from ordinary activities.” - Ellen Littman, Ph.D.
We need things to look forward to or, to be blunt, we feel dead inside.
What I love to do is I grab my computer and then research all the upcoming happenings in my area.
I target in on the ones I’d genuinely put on pants for (farmer’s markets, coffee pop ups, parades, bluegrass concerts, art walks, new museum exhibits) and put them in both my planner and my wall calendars (I have two).
After, I think of things that would bring me joy that are not scheduled events, but I’m still going to write them in or they will not happen.
Activities such as walks in the park, coffee dates, flower picking, watercoloring by my favorite window, a trip to Italy (talk about fucking dopamine), a visit to the local french bakery, and so on.
I beg of you.
Try one.
Or try them all.
You are far too precious and far too wanted in this world to spend your moments self-cast in the shadows of your mind more than you spend your days living as the whimsical poetry that you are.
I really like this post, love the concept of “Jolt” it had helped me a lot