[audio] Explaining your ADHD brain to your non ADHD partner.

Lazy. Disrespectful. Unreliable. Scattered. Messy. Childish. Forgetful. Emotional.

Any of these sound familiar?

If you have ADHD and have ever been in a relationship with someone without, odds are high you’ve had one or more of the above descriptive words used to explain how your parter was feeling in regards to your actions, or lack there of.

And, if they didn’t say it out-loud, you bet your ass they sure thought it a time or ten.

Now, I’m not standing here (metaphorically speaking) saying that such words have zero merit or truth to them regarding ADHD tendencies.

All humans can struggle with bouts of laziness, disrespect, unreliability, etc.

It’s what makes us human.

Photo by Marc A. Sporys on Unsplash

What I am saying/reporting on is that there’s just more to it when it comes to ADHD.

Explanation versus excuse.

Let it be said first that there absolutely is accountability that needs to be had, from both partners, and our diagnosis is by no means a “Get out of ‘we fucked up’ Jail” card that frees us from any accountably, ever.

But, for sake of better understanding the ADHD mind, we are going to farther unravel each of these commonly used descriptors, right here, right now.

Lazy.

large majority of the time when we are appearing “lazy”, we are actually experiencing a paralysis episode where internally, it’s complete fucking chaos, yet externally, we are frozen where we stand (or lie) therefore coming off as lazy or my personal favorite, worthless

Disrespectful.

we interrupt because we are terrified we are going to forget what we want to say OR are wildly suddenly filled with dopamine regarding what’s about to come out of our mouths